Geordie Frank Burns doesn’t have much in common with his namesake from the TV series ‘Mash’.  Frank doesn’t do obsequious.  Nor whimpering.  But he does do underhand – and does it well in the sport of bowls.

Frank and his wife Christine emigrated from North East England in the year 2000, having never set a foot on a bowling green.  But when Frank found out that he could get a cheap beer at the Browns Bay Bowling Club, and take it outside for a roll-up on the green, he couldn’t believe that a sport could be so fit-for-Frank.  And since that time, he’s pretty much won all there is to win at Browns Bay – the junior singles, the singles, the pairs and the fours.  The members at Browns Bay became used to having the noisy Geordie creating chaos on the head.

“Christine’s the one that’s got all the medals,” insists Frank.  “I’m just a boy from Newcastle that lived in spitting distance of the Tyne, but Christine’s got the smarts from her hometown of Durham.”

These days, Frank has made Orewa Bowling Club his home, while Christine plays out of Mairangi Bay.  But as a New Zealand-accredited bowls coach, the clubs of the North Harbour still see a lot of the larger-than-life Frank. “Hopefully I get budding bowlers to speak proper,” says Frank with a twinkle in his eye. “As well as giving them a few tips to make their bowls a little better.”

But North Harbourites probably know little about the secret life of Frank.  And whilst he’s a bowls coach and raconteur by day, he also occasionally pops in to Albany-based OPTI-Flex, where his trade skills help with the overflow of platemaking.  “It’s a wonderful company,” says Frank. “And I love what I do there.  But I keep it pretty quiet, otherwise I’ll spend all day explaining what a platemaker is.” (Google  it!)

And the reverse is also true.  “Me mate Rob Davis at OPTI-Flex talks up a big game about bowls, but he doesn’t know half it.”

No problem with that Frank.  Keep up the good work.